x x 344122
legolokiismighty:

i would hire him for this flyer alone

theladypunch:

image

#GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST #I HATE THE PSYCHIATRIST #WELL GO SEE ONE ANY WAY

I sing this. Every. Day. Especially to my cats.

x x 95176
the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
x x 32510
x x 71181
thisisnotbruce:

eventuallyeverything:

Monty Python and the Holy Grail Horse Action Figure.
x x 2669
"I don’t have a problem with gay people I just don’t want them throwing it in my face"

misandry-mermaid:

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

Uh…… you mean like this?

guy:

"hey! you can only have one!!"

image

x x 105697
thepatientlywaitingfox:

she-wants-the-eod:

highball2814:

reverendrevenant:

I could have used this information over the last 29 years of my god damn life

My mom taught me to pack like this and she gets mad when I come to visit and sees that I don’t use it.

I need to remember this for uniforms.

Oh my god, I am learning this ASAP. HOW DID I NOT KNOW OF THIS BEFORE?!
x x 84645
x x 89675
justplainsomething:

"hello friend! it is the morning!"
No one asked, at any point, if Mitt Romney might give up on his presidential ambitions because he wanted to spend more time with his litter of grandkids. Fuck, no one even asked in 2012 if Tagg Romney would do less on the campaign trail because he just got two new babies. No one asked because not only did no one care, but because everyone assumed that things would go on as normal because that’s what the fuck people do, men, women, grand or otherwise. The only reason anyone is talking about this is because Hillary Clinton has lady parts. And, no matter how you wanna sputter, “But…no,” it comes out sexist. -

Mitt Romney Became a Grandfather Eight Times While Running for President and No One Gave a Damn (via samuraifuckingfrog)

*Hillary Clinton is a woman. genitals do not determine gender.

(via iwilleatyourenglish)

x x 8304
x x 315839
x x 444